F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Last night I was thinking, if 4th term was busy, 5th term is well going to be worse. Although curricular matters are more relaxed in this term but I am trying to get my hands dirty in copetitions going around. Unfortunately with limited time at disposal already a few very good opportunities are gone and those where something did click...well I dint last long enough to end on the stage and then there have been coule of other failures as well so feeling , quite naturally a bit low.
It is during these times, when things are not quite going your way, you realise who your true friends are. Just an anecdote, last term had a tiff with a wonderful friend and our friendship was almost gone, for worse. Had it been engg days I would've gone to his room and had a heart to heart talk. But I guess there is something wrong in the air or water or sunshine at this place. It made me coccoon in my own ego and everything was almost lost. Then this term somehow things got better, largely because of his efforts. I dont think I ever said sorry to him. I do it now. Sorry.

If I've to recount one single moment of truth which'll distinguish friends from mere "know-him" in MBA , it is summer placements time. I've seen giants crashing under the huge weight of their own expectations during the process. Fortunately I was out of the process quite early but even then I could clearly see who was there with me and who wasnt. Now almost with 2/3rd in to the MBA, many ppl will claim to be your friend, some out a of need for some support system to survive, some to form project groups with you, some just to talk to you so that they get an opportunity to mock you and then there are n number of reasons for these friendships to be forged. And as I look at my "assumed" friends today, most of them werent there when I was sweating it out on Day 2, they were there for their "other" friends whom they needed then but not for me or for that matter other ppl who are now their close friends.
Times change, priorities change and so do needs. As we are told in marketing, with changing life styles of customers, their needs change. Nothing is truer than this statement. friendships (most of them and by no means all) at this place are born out of a need, a very "selfish" need. Ppl will suddenly become very good friend of yours when they realise that you actually fulfil some of their needs and same set of ppl wont bat an eye lid in dumping you when the need is fulfilled. or may be not paying atention to you when the need wasnt there.
Of all the relationships, friendship is one which is hurt most by selfishness. I agree that all of us are selfish in our own petty ways. We were conditioned since childhood to be like that and the ppl who try not be selfish are branded as fools and mocked. But then there is a limit to evrything. As zakhir said "we are freinds but we are also human beings and like human beings we are bound to make mistakes". Very true, cant be any more true. But just to add to his point. We all make mistakes. But good human beings (who are incidentally good friends as well) realise their mistakes, says sorry, kiss and make up. We all make mistakes, but you just cant go on making mistakes, one after the other and believe saying sorry will exonerate you of all your sins. The world doesnt run like that, not anymore.
I always felt that ppl whom I know are my friends, all of them. But certain incidents have made me believe now that only those ppl who stand by you thru thin, only those ppl who forgive and forget your mistakes, only those ppl who dont forge the relation to satiate their needs and only those ppl who are willing to stand by you till day 4 of summer placement process are you true friends. Not anyone else, whatever he or she may claim. Friendship is not a contract, not an obligation, not an "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" kind of relation... no not in my world atleast. For dealing with such ppl, one simple peice of advice:

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts....don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. --- baz luhrmann

rohit