drawing lines

Back at home life seems to be different. It is as if you've made a transition to a whole new universe where there are hours at your disposal to waste, TV with 100 + channels to surf, couch to laze around and fridge full of chocolates. Life seems so very simple at home.... as I always wish it is.

The train journey back home was as peaceful and sober as Mumbai Central.... courtesy two lil noisy gals in the coach. I dunno how these lil kids manage to have a voice box which is twice their size. Maybe GOD just want to have his share of fun, watching us cover our ears in despair. I can even see HIM giggling on the helpless looks on our faces when we've the close encounters of the "dangerous" kinds with these lil devils. So as you can guess, all and any attempts to catch an eyeful of sleep were bad;y and mercilessly quashed by those two devils, shouting warcries as if raging their own battle against the rest of the world.

That reminds me of our own battles we are fighting against the world. Of course all of us have a different definition of the world. An american will say world extends from Atlantic on east to pacific on west, a kid will say world ends where her school's playground ends and an MBA like me...well... curse our wretched education system for that knows that world is all this and much more.
Everyone of us at almost all the time seem to be constantly on move against the world (the only time we arent are in the mornings when we are getting our bowels cleared). Be it moving against the traffic or against the whims of the profs or the rudeness of your boy/girl friend or even against the vagaries of the dial up connection, it seems the life is just always eyeball to eyeball with the world.. two of them always at odds with eachother.Like every problem every battle also has its own solution. Some end in round tables others well end in round holes through the bodies. But alas this one doesnt seem to have a soultion... atleast to me. As I was discussing with a dear friend on train. I remarked that we face problems in life coz we try to control it which is not possible. She quipped back saying but you just cant always stand by watching things happening on their own. err... well I ended discssion by saying that it all boils down to where we draw the line. Now this is just another of those wondeful phrases they teach you in MBA to be used whnever you get you head stuck in the blender... "we need to know where we should draw the line".In reality though the line is just a broken sequence of dots. Each imprinetd on our lives on their own with little or no correlation with the others, yet somehow they seem to make sense when viewed in totality. May be this is actually the solution to the "battling against the world" problem. dotting your life red, blue and black and then retospecting for all of them to make sense.As I look back on my life today all those tiny little red dots (e.g. when I got a D in english grammar in std 3rd), all those little blue dots (e.g. when I was punched in right eye by a bully in std 4th) and those numerous obscure black dots (e.g. me deleting my good old blogs without a backup) do seem to make some sense although I must say not a lot of sense anyway.

But keeping these dots and lines and life apart, I think for the time being I'll allow myself to flow with the tide (of course on a shiny cool surf board) and see where does life drop me. In last few weeks I've tried to change myself according to ppl's expectations. I think I did succeed to some extenet but at my own cost. In the end I realised that I need to draw a line between who I am and who ppl want me to be and believe me it always gives greatest pleasure just to be what you are.

"you can not change the way you fundamentally are." ---parting lines by my guide @ ColPal.
rohit